The Loving Hands of the Alactraz Clinic
by WithoutTheBeard
Summary: A Cats Fanfic about what happens when Rum Tum Tugger visits the vet


The Loving Hands of the Alactraz Clinic  
  
Tha-wump, another speed bump ignored.  
  
Where did this woman learn to drive? Tugger thought to himself. He let out a raspy yowl. It made his throat burn like acid. His voice was going because of this loud yowling and screeching in protest for the last fifteen minutes since the beginning of the car ride. His claws were also raw from scratching at his kennel.  
  
He was helpless in his new cat carrier. The box had "kitty Alactraz" written all over it. All it was missing was rocky cliffs and icy water, and Al Capone's cat would fit right in. Tugger actually liked Capone's whole look, but he had never heard of him having a Jellicle cat. Gangsters should have had cats. It would add to the image. I guess Al wouldn't of wanted Tugger though. He was caught in this jail cell without a mobster's help.  
  
Stupid tuna-loving fool! How could I have fallen for it? He thought, these humans are getting too smart for their own good. He'd have to come up with some new tricks to set them in their place.  
  
OW! The car baked quickly into the parking spot. Tugger was thrown into the crosses of metal at the front of the cage. His face mashed against the bars making his nose drip with blood. He left in flowing. Maybe they wouldn't have to take blood if it was already there. At least it might give him the mean look.  
  
The back hatch of the car opened. His human's smiling face appeared. Tugger just glared and hissed at her.  
  
"Aw, Rummy your bleeding!" She squealed in her irritating voice. As she leaned closer to touch his fur, Tugger stretched out his claws for her to see. A simple warning that she had learned by now. "Um, I bet the vet could fix that too." She added, her voice wavering slightly. Yep, he had her trained well.  
  
The steps up to the Sunrise Vetrinary Clinic were covered with bird droppings and muddy paw prints. There were ten steps, and Tugger thought a word for his human for each step. (I will not repeat them to save your innocent eyes)  
  
As Tugger was coming up the steps the young Admetus was coming down. It would have been nice to see a happy friendly face before he went in, but it would not be so. He was coming down in his human's arms screeching in indignation and despair. "IT'S GONE! MY TOM-HOOD IS GONE! OH THE HUMANITY!"  
  
Tugger wished he could plug his ears and could barely keep his eyes open to see the young tom (or used to be tome) looking so pathetic. Though he felt somewhat sorry for Admetus, He felt even sorrier for himself. His owner wouldn't do that would she? He looked up at her and them shook the idea from his head. He could get with the most healthy, attractive cats. His human would be able to get strong Jellicle kittens. She wouldn't do anything to stop that.  
  
The lobby was equally disgusting. Each of the cutesy puppy and kitten posters were enough to make you sick along with the migraine you would have from the chattering of different creatures, which Tugger usually bullied around the neighborhoods. The color of the walls looked like a kitten actually had been sick in the waiting room. Tugger didn't look around. He did not want to see any more "cheery" faces.  
  
The thick-glassed receptionist was expecting them. She scooted her flabby buttocks over to check him off on the computer. Tugger though that the posters were bad, the receptionist's shirt was much worse. The rainbow colored kittens on her t-shirt could not of possibly been made by any rational store. It was probably created by one of those super plus-sized old lady stores where the colorful animal patterns are though up by house- wives who have been drinking whisky to get through the babies crying all night, and where the frumpy shirts, large sparkly jewelry, and girdles can be all be bought buy one get one free. It made her appear like a mutant tye- dye balloon. He expected her to tell them apologetically "It looked like a good idea at the time, the fluorescent lights make it appear totally different."  
  
Instead she simply said, "Dr. Fredrick is expecting you in room one, he will be with you in a moment." Her voice sounded sympathic. Was she sympathetic to him? His owner? The vet? Or herself for making a bad fashion choice? Tugger shrugged and was carried into room one.  
  
It was a small room. There were two doors. The one they just entered through from the lobby. Click. The door was closed behind them. One escape route cut off. The other door was on the opposite side where the vet would enter. It was open, but it did not lead outside, but to white workrooms with counters piled with clear test tubes where they captured the souls of all the misbehaving animals turning them into vetinarian-loving zombies (of course that was just a hunch of his). He could probably find a way out if he tried, but his human took him out of the cage holding him in a death grip. Neither his teeth nor claws could reach flesh. Damn it. She was smarter than he thought.  
  
Through the open door Tugger could see a little white queen. He squinted to recognize Victoria. She was one of those veterinarian pets. The kind of cat who is always healthy, with a groomed coat, updated collar tags, and sparkling white teeth while most cat owners gave up on brushing teeth and grooming dirty fur after two weeks and only remembered the morning before they go to the vet. Tugger had comb teeth still in his hair and bleeding gums from this human's attempt that morning (of course his human was wearing long sleeves to cover up the outcome of her attempts).  
  
Victoria turned around and saw Tugger. She smiled at him showing off her white-brushed teeth and waved her dainty paw at him. Tugger smiled back with his charming smirk and was about to wave before remembering his awkward position. His ego shriveled. How could she see him helpless like this? She giggled at him wriggling in his human's arms. So much for his reputation.  
  
The body of a big man cut off Victoria's image. Slowly the man swung the door closed behind him with a soft click.  
  
Dr. Fredrick wasn't comfortable. He shifted his weight from foot to foot. Long sleeves and leather gloves covered his hands and arms. Tugger couldn't help but snigger at the site. Apparently his last booster shot visit was not easily forgotten. His ego rose back up slightly. The vet's eyes traveled to Tugger's bleeding nose. He seemed to think about it for a second, then thought better of it and pretended not to notice it.  
  
"How are we doing today?" Dr. Fredrick asked them.  
  
Now that you ask, it is horrible, my nose is bleeding, I have to come to this awful place and all this décor is making me sick. Maybe you can help me with those.  
  
"Very well thank you," Tugger's human responded.  
  
"So how have you been feeling," the vet questioned lowing his eyes to Tugger.  
  
We? Who is "we"? I have not idea what "we" are feeling, and I don't really want to  
  
"Active as ever" the human answered.  
  
"Good, good. How is his weight?"  
  
My weight is absolutely perfect! A trim, muscular tome, a fine specimen of a Jellicle cat, Thank you very much.  
  
His human paused a second before saying, "He has gained weight in the last month."  
  
EXCUSE ME!?!?!?  
  
"But he is a good weight overall." She finished.  
  
Nice recovery  
  
"Yes, he looks very good in size." Dr. Fredrick concluded.  
  
Stop, you'll make me blush  
  
Tugger tuned out their chattering about heartworm and food brands and the vet flashing a little light are his eyes and ears. There was a fly buzzing at the other side of the room. He followed it with his eyes. Buzzzzzz, on the table, buzzzzzzz, on the chair, buzzzzzz, the soap dispenser. Suddenly something the vet said snapped him back to attention.  
  
"I need to take a stool sample from him."  
  
A what? What is a stool sample? He knew he had heard of it before, but where, he could not remember. Whatever it was his did not like the sound of it or that look in Dr. Fredrick's eyes.  
  
Tugger's human turned him around to face her and using all her strength held him to the table. I'm turned the wrong way around the vet needs to take that stool sample thingy.  
  
Suddenly Tugger felt something cold on the bare skin of his rump. This was the kind of thing that he had heard about on the Oxygen channel movie. His stomach instantly gathered in his throat and he freaked out.  
  
WHAT THE.!?! GET AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE YOU RAPEST! Tugger squirmed and fought until he dug his fangs into the fleshy bicep of his human.  
  
"Ahhga!!" She squealed in pain.  
  
Tugger slashed out with all of this strength and his claws. Dr. Fredrick grabbed for him but was too slow to reach the terrified feline.  
  
I can't get out! Tugger was panicking I've got to get away from these perverted humans.  
  
The receptionist must have heard his human's scream because she ran to their door (faster than you would think a woman of her size could go) and flung it open.  
  
"What's going." she started, but Tugger wouldn't hear the rest. He bulleted out of the room through her plump legs. Then he shot through one workroom and under the table in the next one. Tugger curled into a ball. They wouldn't find him. He would just melt into the wall. Just think invisible, think invisible he repeated over and over to himself. The sound of little paws on the floor near him made him raise his head to look.  
  
"What are you doing?" Victoria poked her face at him, "Your human is yelling a lot in that room over there."  
  
"Did you just come over here to bother me?" Tugger retorted angrily.  
  
"No, I was just wondering." suddenly a smirk slid across Victoria's face, "They did the stool sample did they?"  
  
"Huh?" he was taken aback for a second, but was determined to keep the last sliver of his pride left, "I don't know what you are talking about!"  
  
"Suit yourself," she was still smiling, "but there is only one exit."  
  
Damn it.  
  
Tugger hated to say this, but he had no choice. "Fine, could you help me?"  
  
Victoria's smile broadened, "Of course.. But you have to let me do your hair for the next Jellicle ball."  
  
Tugger's eyes darted from Victoria, to the test tubes, then to the receptionist who was walking around the other room looking for him, and finally to his lovely coat. She couldn't make it too bad could she? He heard the receptionist's sickingly high-pitched call of "here kitty, kitty, kitty". Desperate times called for desperate measures.  
  
"Fine!"  
  
The queen bounced with excitement. "Okay run past that red desk and you will be in the lobby. You will have to find your way out from there. Start when you hear the third crash."  
  
She pranced out of the room and into the other workroom. Daintily she sprang up on the counter and swiped off two beakers with her tail. Then her front paw pushed off a rack of test tubes. Next a microscope fell to the now littered smooth floor.  
  
"OH MY GOD!!!" Dr. Fredrick screamed as he went running past Tugger into the other room. The receptionist followed jiggling with the quick pace.  
  
Tugger bolted for it. He passed the red desk Victoria had mentioned. Screams and crashes continued to come from behind him, but he did not look back. He reached the lobby where people and animals were standing up and also making noise wondering what was happening in the back. In the rush Tugger dodged between legs and rammed all his weight into the front door to force it to swing open enough to let him squeeze through. He could smell the freedom in the air. Never had the dirty steps looked so beautiful.  
  
Then he thought of what he had just agreed to. He looked down at his coat again and gulped. He looked back towards the Veterinary dungeon. The stool sample couldn't of been that bad. 


End file.
